


Sleeping With a Friend

by Boossuet



Category: Batman (Comics), Gotham (TV)
Genre: Echo - Freeform, F/F, Flirting, M/M, Mad Hatter - Freeform, Minor Violence, Multi, Query - Freeform, Riddles, Scarecrow - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Shippy if you Squint, The Riddler - Freeform, Trans Edward Nygma, lots of bed sharing but no smut, meaning Ed gets smacked around a bit and chased by a bird, penguin - Freeform, the riddler isn't that kind of slut, there's a vine reference in here too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 06:18:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15527979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boossuet/pseuds/Boossuet
Summary: Ed Nygma is infamous for never sleeping in his own bed. Instead he manages to find his way into his friends' beds, despite their security measures and much to their annoyance.





	1. Echo and Query

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Penguina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/gifts).



> In case you're wondering, the universe this is set in is my own weird mashup of various comics, Gotham, and my own personal headcanons :D

Diedre and Nina liked their boss well enough, sure, but sometimes it was nice to have time to themselves. They’d been lesbian Bonnie and Clyde long before the Riddler and continued to be so after, only now they had orders to follow. Well, more like riddles. Nothing was ever straightforward with their boss, so one could understand their need for a break every now and then. Tonight was one of those nights. Not only was it their anniversary, but their boss had been particularly whiny the past few days.

They spent their blessed night off clubbing, at Diedre’s suggestion. Neither of them liked getting dinner or anything boring like that. They were a wild pair and didn’t care much for conventions. 

Drunk as they were when they returned, Nina’s instincts still immediately kicked in when she found the door unlocked. She quieted her laughter and gave Diedre their look that translated to ‘oh shit, trouble’ before quietly taking off her stiletto and brandishing it overhead, ready to stab whoever was waiting behind the door, Diedre taking her back with the same position. 

Nina’s shoulders slouched when her initial scan of the room showed nobody there and nothing out of the usual. She moved cautiously through their small living room, checking the kitchen while Diedre went to check their bedroom. 

When Diedre entered their bedroom, she was greeted by so strange a sight her heel clattered to the ground, her jaw slack. 

Panic hit Nina as soon as she heard the shoe hit the floor, fearing the worst for her beloved wife. She rushed into the bedroom to find Diedre on the floor, laughing so hard she was crying, and the Riddler sitting up in their bed, blinking sleep away from his eyes blearily. 

Nina’s panic was replaced with pure hilarity at the sight of her boss in his question mark pajamas with his curls even wilder than usual, looking very confused as to why his henchwomen were laughing at him. 

“Who has no concept of personal boundaries and no idea what his own bed is?” Diedre asked Nina once she had recovered from her initial fit of laughter.

Nina pretended to think for a moment, almost breaking her serious expression when Riddler squinted at her, daring her to answer the crummy riddle. Her boss was hardly intimidating to her on a good day, much less now. “Hmm… Could it be Edward Nygma?” she answered.

“Ha ha. Very funny,” Ed replied, squinting harder as he tried to find where he’d placed his glasses on the nightstand.

“What are ya doin’ here anyway, boss?” Nina asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Answer: You already know the answer to that,” Ed grumbled. He gained a small victory in finding his glasses and having his sight returned to him.

“You blow all your money on question mark suits and have no money left for a bed,” Diedre supplied with a firm nod, giggling again.

“No.”

“The answer doesn’t matter. Get out, boss,” Nina demanded, not in the mood for Riddler at 3 am on a normal day, much less 3 am on her anniversary. “Unless you really want to stay and watch,” she added, giving Diedre a knowing wink. 

Ed was out of there faster than a bullet from a gun.


	2. Mad Hatter

Jervis Tetch spent a majority of his time in Wonderland. All of Gotham knew that. The little man in his head made sure they did. He didn’t mind being there most of the time. Wonderland was a happy place and everybody he knew was there, too. They were all a little nicer there, too.

Tonight was different. Tonight Jervis Tetch was in Gotham instead of Wonderland. He’d spent the night wandering, lost, in a city that he had mainly observed through rose colored glasses. With a little help from the little man in his head, he eventually found his way back home. He set the kettle on to boil before heading to his bedroom to change into his pajamas and grab his copy of _The Legend of Sleepy Hollow_. Jervis had made a new friend who also lived in a book like he did and was determined to learn more about his world.

The kettle was just beginning to whistle when Jervis noticed the odd lump in his bed. He hadn’t recalled finding an Alice recently, so he couldn’t think of a reason for this mysterious bump in his bed. Jervis approached it carefully, on tiptoe, leaning down to poke it gently.

He jumped when the lump squeaked, retreating to the corner of the room so he could summon up all his courage to approach it again.

When nothing else happened after a few moments, Jervis approached the mystery lump again. This time he gave it a nice, hard shove.

Jervis fell backwards with a squeak when the Dormouse popped out from under his comforter, the book flying into the air. He thought he’d left Wonderland and it's suprises behind tonight! The sound of the book hitting the floor joined the cacophony of the screaming kettle and the shrieking Dormouse as Jervis tried to keep his, already unsteady, wits about him.

“D-Dormouse?” He finally stammered, snatching the book off the floor and smacking Edward with _The Legend of Sleepy Hollow_ to be sure the man was really, truly there.

“Ouch!” Ed shrieked. First, he’d been poked out of his dreams and now he was being attacked by a novel so old a dust cloud left it when it struck his body. He was already at an unfair advantage without his glasses. This was just too much!

“What was that for!?” he demanded.

“You are real!” Jervis gasped, hopping to his feet and throwing his book aside.

Ed answered the explanation with a scowl. Jervis plucked Ed’s glasses off the nightstand as the smaller man was reaching for them.

“I have half a mind, since you aren’t kind, to drown you in my tea as if it were the sea,” Jervis scolded, holding Ed's glasses high above his head where he knew Ed had no chance of getting at them. 

Ed rolled his eyes. Jervis' threat wasn't scary, considering it was given in rhyme. He got out of Jervis’ bed, approaching the taller man carefully. “May I have my glasses back? Please?” He added the politeness to appeal to Jervis’ preference for good manners.

Jervis thought for a moment before handing the glasses down to the Dormouse. Ed put his glasses on grumpily before glaring up at Jervis. Every time he stood next to the much taller man he realized why he was the Dormouse instead of the March Hare. Although that was Jonathan’s position in Jervis’ made up Wonderland, Ed felt he still deserved more than the boring Dormouse. All the damn mouse did was ramble, sleep, and get nearly drowned after all!

“Dormouse? Would you like some tea?” Jervis repeated his question with a small frown, noticing that Edward had been too caught up in his own thoughts to hear him the first time. “We can return to bed afterwards…”

“Oh, uh. Yes.” Edward snapped out of his mental complaining to accept Jervis’ request. Tea did sound lovely and Jervis was known to be like one's own personal space heater. Plus spending the night with the Rogues’ gentle giant was much better than spending the night alone or with the Mad Hatter. “Actually, I would love to,” Ed added with a smile up at Jervis.


	3. Lucius Fox

Lucius Fox should have turned around and left as soon as he saw his home had been ransacked. He really should have turned and left when he heard an all too familiar voice come from his bedroom. “Oh, Foxy!” it sing-songed. Why Lucius decided to enter his bedroom when he knew who was in there was beyond him, but here he was. Being held at gunpoint while his enemy demanded to be cuddled.

He blinked.

It was moments like this where Lucius realized that he didn’t really want to know how the Riddler’s mind worked.

Lucius blinked again, still unsure that what he’d heard was correct. “I’m sorry? Did you just say you want me to… cuddle?” He repeated slowly, staring at the man sitting on his bed.

“I thought you were smart,” Ed rolled his eyes, keeping the gun trained on Lucius. “That is exactly what I said.”

Lucius exhaled through his mouth. Why did he stay in Gotham? Wayne Enterprises could never pay him enough for what he had to deal with.

“I’m waiting!” Ed sang, clicking the safety off with a smirk.

Lucius inhaled.

“Fine,” he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes and jacket carefully, unsure whether or not he was going to be shot.

Ed clicked the safety back on and tossed the gun aside, immediately attaching himself to Lucius like he was a koala and Lucius was the Eucalyptus tree.

Lucius sighed.

It was going to be a long night.


	4. Penguin

Oswald Cobblepot prided himself on his top-notch security. He had the best bodyguards and alarm systems money could buy, plus the birds he had trained to keep out intruders if all else failed. Even the damn Bat had a bit of a struggle getting past his system. So of course he had the hissy fit of the century when he exited his bathroom after his evening bath to see Ed Nygma lying in his bed, reading a book.

“How did you get in here!?” He demanded.

Ed pointed casually at the window, more focused on his book than the angry bird in front of him.

“That is impossible! There are two guards, four alarms, and one vulture protecting my bedroom!”

Ed shrugged.

Oswald took a deep breath, trembling with anger. “ _Nygma_! Pay attention to me!” He screamed, looking like he was going to choke himself with anger.

Ed finally set his book aside, adjusting his glasses as he looked at Oswald. “Ozzie, you look well,” he said casually, as if he hadn’t broken through the world’s best security system like it was nothing.

It took all of Oswald’s willpower to not strangle him.

“I have an odd request,” Ed said, getting out from underneath Oswald’s silk quilt. Of course, he was wearing question mark pajamas and of course, they were green. The man lived to piss Oswald off. Between Ed’s good looks, questionable taste in fashion, and awful personality, Oswald wasn’t quite sure why he still considered the man his best friend.

“I weaken all men for hours each day. I show you strange visions while you are away. I take you by night, by day take you back. None suffer to have me but do from my lack. What am I?”

Oswald rubbed his eyes. He was too tired to deal with a goddamn riddle right now. “I don’t know, Eddie," he sighed.

“Sleep! I want to sleep with you,” Ed replied curtly.

Oswald’s jaw dropped as he stared at Ed, wide eyed in his shock. Did Ed just ask to have sex with him!?

Edward’s face turned bright red with embarassment when he realized how poorly he had worded his request. “Oh, dear. Not like that,” he quickly amended his previous statement with a sheepish smile.

Oswald took a deep breath and limped over towards the bed. Ed sat down on the edge, smiling up at Oswald expectantly. Poor Eddie, you think he would have learned by now. Oswald grabbed Ed’s book, an old and worn copy of _The Legend of Sleepy Hollow_ , and smacked him firmly upside the head with it.

Ed crumpled to the floor like a felled steer, the crash causing Zsasz to finally notice the disturbance and enter the room.

“If this were any other intruder I would be dead by now,” Oswald said pointedly, looking up when the door opened.

“Yeah, but it isn’t any other intruder,” Zsasz replied, coming over to poke Ed with his foot, “it’s just Nygma. He’s hardly a threat.”

Oswald let out a deep sigh, running his hand over his face. “Just throw him out, Victor.”

As Victor was halfway out the door, dragging Ed by his ankles, Oswald stopped him. “Wait. I have a better idea. Leave him in the yard for Wilson,” He said with a smirk.

A grin spread across Victor’s face and he drug Ed with much more enthusiasm than before.

~

Oswald had just gotten settled in bed when he heard something hit the window. He rolled over and pulled his quilt over his head. If he ignored it, it would go away. After a few moments, the rocks stopped.

Unfortunately, the shrieking started.

Oswald pulled his quilt tighter, hoping to drown out Nygma. After a few unsuccessful minutes Oswald sighed and got out of bed, limping over and opening the window to watch the chase that was currently happening on his lawn.

“Get your damn bird off!” Ed screamed when he saw Oswald in the window, his arms over his head to protect himself from Oswald’s security vulture, Wilson.

“He doesn’t bite.”

“ _Yes, he fucking does_!” Ed shrieked again as the bird swooped down upon him.

Oswald laughed, but called Wilson off. “Have you learned your lesson yet?” He asked with a smirk, leaning out the window to tease Ed.

Edward looked up and flipped him the bird.

“If you improve your attitude I might fulfill your request,” Oswald sing-songed.

Ed sighed. Sharing a bed with Oswald was always a good experience. And Oswald's bed was extremely comfy...  He gave in and blew Oswald a kiss.

“You may enter,” Oswald replied, shutting his window and retrieving his first aid kit. He’d be damned if he’d let Ed bleed all over his expensive sheets.

~

After he’d patched up Ed’s wounds and Ed had changed out of his now ruined pajamas into a borrowed pair of Oswald’s, they settled into bed. Even after all their fighting, they still settled into each other’s arms like it was where they belonged.

“Good night,” Oswald whispered, giving Ed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.


	5. Scarecrow

Jonathan Crane rarely slept. He had never really felt like sleep was a necessity. Work was always more important to him. But that didn’t prevent his body from occasionally forcing him to sleep, threatening to shut down if he didn’t. It was one of those rare nights where he actually slept when he woke up in the middle of the night to wide, bespectacled eyes staring back at him from the darkness.

If he could still feel fear, he would have jumped.

Instead he greeted the familiar face with a sigh. “Good evening, Edward.”

“Mind if I join you, Jon?” Ed asked with a smile.

“I expected you to make your way here eventually,” Jonathan drawled in his thick, Southern accent.

“Jervis told you, then. He was quite mad I stole his book,” Ed remarked, staring at Jon.

Jonathan rolled his eyes and shifted to search for Jervis’ battered copy of _The Legend of Sleepy Hollow_ , knowing Ed wouldn’t have mentioned it if it wasn’t in the room with them.

He froze when he felt Edward touch his cheek, turning his face back to the smaller man. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Studying your face. You know, I’ve never seen you without the mask. You’re younger than I expected,” Ed replied, moving his fingers down to Jonathan’s chin so he could gently turn the Scarecrow’s face as he studied every inch of it.

If this were anybody else, apart from Jervis, they would have already had a face full of fear toxin.

Instead, the corners of Jon’s mouth quirked upwards. “Jervis said the same thing. How old does Gotham think I am?”

“Old,” Ed replied with a chuckled, drawing out the vowel.

“I’m younger than you.”

“Then I need to teach you my skincare routine,” Ed teased, letting go of Jonathan’s face. Even when Ed’s fingers left Jon’s face, he could still feel them burning into his skin.

Jonathan cleared his throat with a small cough. “Have you come to steal some of my prized books too?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ed shook his head. “I only stole Jervis’ book because I needed to know who his new storybook friend was. I’m impressed that you’ve started making friends, Crane,” he teased gently.

“Unlike you, my lack of friends was a choice and not because of my unbearable ego, Nygma,” Jon replied, the same light edge to his voice.

Ed chuckled and stretched upwards, yawning and causing the blanket to slip down to his waist.

“You shouldn’t sleep in your binder,” Jon remarked, noticing Edward’s choice of a top.

“I don’t find dress shirts very comfortable to sleep in,” Ed replied, getting defensive as he did anytime anybody suggested he was wrong.

“Most people sleep in pajamas, you know.”

“Mine had the terrible misfortune of being destroyed by a very angry bird.”

Jonathan let out a long sigh and got out of bed, searching around his mess of a room for a more comfortable shirt Ed could wear. “Here,” he tossed Edward the cleanest shirt he could find, “The bathroom is right across the hall.”

While Ed hurried off to change, Jon crawled back into bed, thumbing through the much fought over copy of _The Legend of Sleepy Hollow_   he'd found on the floor beside the bed.He found himself enjoying Jervis and Ed’s conflicting notes that were scribbled in the margins.

“You’re smiling,” Ed said from where he was standing in the doorway, practically drowning in the t-shirt Jonathan had given him. It easily came down to his thighs. “I’ve never seen you smile before.”

"I guess tonight is a night of firsts for you," Jonathan replied, holding the book up for Ed to see the title. “You and Jervis have very different, but equally interesting, opinions on Ichabod Crane.”

“I think we have very similar opinions on Jonathan Crane though,” Ed replied as he crawled back into bed, taking off his glasses carefully.

“No need to fight over that. There’s enough of me to go around,” Jon chuckled when Ed managed to wiggle his way across the bed to snuggle firmly into Jonathan’s side.

“Yes, but I’m the one currently in your bed,” Ed gloated over his temporary win.

Jonathan rolled his eyes, amused. “Good night, Edward.”

He thought Ed had already fallen asleep until, after a few moments, Ed broke the sleepy silence that had fallen over them.

“I make you weak at the worst of all times. I keep you safe, I keep you fine. I make your hands sweat, and your heart grow cold, I visit the weak, but seldom the bold. What am I?” Ed hummed.

“Go to sleep, Eddie.”

“Good night to you too, Johnny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wonder and/or bad at riddles like I am, the answer to Ed's riddle at the end is fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Pls come scream at me in the comments about what you liked, or didn't like, about this fic I love conversation and comments!!


End file.
